Festival weather
Sometimes it feels like rain clouds love festivals as much as punters do. Here's what to do when they turn up.
Be careful out there
Bad weather is a hazard of the festival season. There's nothing anyone can do to prevent a turn for the worst, but you can arrive prepared to make the most of the experience no matter what mud bath you find:
- Pack for wet weather: Even if the forecast is for sunshine, it's good to be prepared. There's no need to tool up with the latest in waterproof protection, but a cagoule and a decent pair of boots/sturdy shoes could just save your festival enjoyment. Other essentials include a spare pair of socks, sleeping bag and, as always, condoms. Who knows? In the absence of any carrier bags and elastic bands, to protect your feet in boggy weather you could always use your rubbers instead - the only form of contraception to protect against pregnancy, STIs and, erm, trenchfoot;
- Bring a brolly: Why not? Just because you look like you should be at Wimbledon and not the World Stage, at least you'll keep yourself dry;
- Pitch your tent wisely: It's good camping practice to avoid pitching your tent on the bank of a stream or a river, in a dell, under trees or slap bang in front of the main stage. Anywhere that water gathers could mean returning to your tent to find nothing but ducks, just look at those poor drowned tents at Glastonbury 2005. Pitching where crowds gather also risks returning to find your tent in trampled tatters;
- Avoid romping in mud baths: OK, so you might be snapped by one of the national newspapers, looking for a way to sum up this year's washout, but it isn't big or clever; you risk coming into contact with all kinds of bacteria, and you'll have to stay like that until the end of the festival. Just grow up. Step around it and walk on with your pride intact (as well as dry pants). Or don't!;
- Think layers: Whether it's raining, cold or both, aim to wear several thin layers, rather than one chunky top - it'll help let your skin breathe and make drying clothes much easier - whether you're hanging stuff in your tent or simply hanging out for a break in the clouds;
- Take your boots off: before you clamber into your tent. It's your one and only place where you can escape from the wet, and you need to keep it as damp-free as you can. Bring your boots in with you, of course, to avoid those thieving boot-fairies and/or their mischievous urinary habits - just place them on some newspaper to prevent any other kind of puddling;
How to have fun when it's raining:
- Strip off, face the Heavens, and blag a free shower: Beats queuing up to be hosed down by hippies in the Communal Shower Area;
- Make friends with the mud: OK, so nobody wants it to rain during a festival, but if it happens then go with it. There's no point mincing about trying to avoid getting speckled with mud. Relax. Be at one with God's soil. It isn't going to kill you, is it?;
- Build a swimming pool: Before you set off for your chosen festival, nip down to the DIY centre and buy the kind of plastic sheeting normally used for protecting carpets from paint. Then, if it rains, simply lay it out on the grass in front of your tent, raise the edges with beer cans, boots and other people's rucksacks, then watch it fill up. Within hours, you'll be the envy of your manky neighbours. Even more so if the sun finally shines!;
- Bottle water and flog it: Bring out your entrepreneurial side, and put your old beer bottles to good use. Just line them up around your tent, then head out into the deluge to pick up some corks. Eau de Festivale may not be flavour of the month just yet, but get in there first and you could clean up!
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