The first conversation
Even if you're feeling shy, there's no need to be tongue-tied during that first chat. Follow our dos and don'ts and you may even get that date.
DO
- Introduce yourself first, before asking their name
- Make brief eye contact from time to time, and smile
- Ask them about themselves
- Ask open questions, in other words ones that can't be answered with just a 'yes' or a 'no'
- Ask about their interests, find out if you share any
- Show interest in their answers
- Strike a balance when answering their questions so you appear interesting, but still fairly modest
- Lean towards them a little more if things seem to be going well
- Try mirroring their body language
- Leave them wanting to know a bit more about you
- Act relaxed and confident, but not arrogant
- Have a sense of humour
- It's OK to tell them they are attractive if you like them, in case they start thinking of you as 'just a friend'
- If it goes well, say you'd like to meet them again and ask if they'd like to swap numbers
- Be honest if you don't want to take it any further
- Keep your cool if they tell you they're not interested
DON'T
- Call someone 'babe' or 'darlin', and forget to ask their name
- Stare or leer at them
- Put up with any crap if someone is being creepy
- Use tacky lines and expect them to work
- Hound someone who is obviously not interested
- Insult them, or make them the butt of nasty jokes
- Demand someone's entire life story
- Talk about yourself incessantly, not letting them get a word in
- Try too hard to make yourself sound important
- Go on at length about miserable things from your past
- Ignore their answers when you've asked them a question
- Boast about how good you are in bed
- Boast about how many other lovers you've had
- Get pressured into giving your number to someone you don't like or find scary
- Ask for their number if you know you won't be calling them
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