Webcams have become big business in the past few years. We all know that cybersex is practically mainstream - in 2002, sex related sites had higher sales figures than computers and software in America. But, given the choice, would you go for cold and impersonal porn sites or a more private and personal experience between two consenting adults? Thought as much.

Thanks to webcams, the idea that cybersex is just about strange old men grooming vulnerable victims, or over-sexed perverts looking to fulfil their weird fantasies is beginning to fade. Even so, these people are still lurking, so don't wire up until you're sure you've taken steps to protect your safety and know it's right for you.

How does it work?

Although you can find websites dedicated to interacting over webcams, a lot of them actually only feature models pretending to 'want to chat'. The reality is that most people interact over messenger services, which allows you to keep it more private.

What's the appeal?

"Cybersex can be a lot of fun - it's easy, you get to have a degree of human contact and get your rocks off all at the same time!" says Emily Dubberley editor of text-based sex site, cliterati.co.uk.

It's also cheap. After the initial payout for the webcam itself you shouldn't incur any more expense if you stick to MSN. But according to 24-year-old Russ, it's more about the fact that you can be more sexually outgoing. "Webcams allow you to be more experimental without any comeback," he enthuses. "If you get knocked back you can move on and leave your sexual activity behind."

Stranger danger

So, there's lots of fun to be had, but apply the wrong rules (or none at all) and it can go horribly wrong. "Internet safety is about being switched on," says Russ. "If you are talking to anonymous people in a sexual way, the primary appeal is that you don't know them and you can therefore be as open as you wish, but you have to keep it that way. The minute you are tempted to give out your details, or the other person starts pestering you, you have to be aware that they want different things from you."

One of the easiest safety rules you can apply is to never reveal your identity. Simply reposition the angle of the webcam so that the person you're chatting to can't see your face. This is a rule 19-year-old Leigh uses whenever she uses her webcam with strangers. "I never show my face and when they ask personal questions I always make something up, giving myself a new profile every time," she advises. 

Liven up your love life

In a happy relationship? You don't have to abstain - in fact, Dr Tuppy Owen, director of the Sexual Freedom Coalition thinks webcams are a great way for couples liven up their love life. "It's a very enjoyable, liberating thing to make your own sexual fun as a couple rather than rely on things like porn to do it for you - that has to be a good thing," she enthuses.

Russ has been using webcams for over two years, originally 'falling into it' when his girlfriend at the time went away travelling. "I was attracted to it because we were living in two different countries and it was one stage better than phone sex with her," he says.

One thing that a lot of people don't realise, says Emily Dubberley, is that cybersex is often between two people who know each other. "It could be two mates who are chatting together over instant messenger and decide to get naked for each other, or couples in a committed relationship. Either way, it can actually be a safe form of having sex and a way of finding out what the other person likes."

Turn on... turn off

Just as some people get their kicks out of sex toys and others prefer to leave them at Ann Summers, webcams aren't for everyone. If you don't enjoy it, feel uncomfortable or even scared, remember that there's always an 'off' button. Conversely, you may find you like it too much and start becoming dependent on a webcam 'fix'. Emily Dubberley has seen cybersex become an addictive pastime. "If you can't get a hold of it then make some rules, such as 'Wednesday night is my cybersex night'," she suggests. "It needs to be a hobby rather than something that replaces a normal, healthy relationship."

Written by Hannah Jolliffe

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